Even after four months the pain is still there. I don't think it's as sharp or as deep but it still hurts to the core. It's selfish of me to want her to back. To bring her back to this world in which she suffered so terribly would be a horrible injustice so I cannot pray for that. But I do long to tell her I love her one more time. To wrap my arms around her and hold her tight would comfort my soul.
My house sits empty now not because I can't go back but because it's not a home. It's so empty and void. I have no desire to go back there alone right now but I'm hoping that will change.
I'm so thankful for my God, my family and my friends who have pulled me through this step by step and carrying me along the way when I fell down and couldn't get back up. I'll never be able to repay the debts I owe so for that I am truly grateful.
What will the next four months hold?? They will be hard and trying but they will also be full of good times as well. The birth of her niece she never got to hold will happen in the next few weeks. Our birthdays and anniversary will pass in that time frame as well.
But I press on with my head held high and my eyes on the prize.
